Getting an unsolicited AARP mailing can break a person’s spirit. Realizing a half century has passed since your birth. It seems like a long time, and it is. We definitely do not look like the 50 something-year old’s that occupied our lives when we were younger. But 50 doesn’t signify the end. It doesn’t denote a time for readiness for the slow, wilting flame of our spirits. This is not a chapter where you prepare for the end; on the contrary! It is the next important episode in your life. Life can start and restart hundreds of times. Turning 50 is a time to restart and prove wrong to all who say, “Well I’m over 50, this is to be expected” or “Aches and pains come with age” and “Huh, AARP. I knew this day would come”. That’s all bullshit!
Sex is another activity that is compromised by the unrelenting belief in ageism and the statement, “I’m too old for that”. Most of us see it as an integral part of a romantic relationship. Most of us LOVE IT! But believe it or not, some of us (whispering) don’t even do it anymore. I know, right? Well, one culprit could be lack of ability due to a deconditioned state. This doesn’t have to be so. I’m 52 years old, fit and sex is the best it has ever been! [My Wife will attest] One main reason for this is…Exercise!
Many of us do not equate sex to exercise but you can get a great workout during love making. Being out of shape can kill a romantic mood quick. Strong muscles are needed to perform at your peak. Here’s why exercising is beneficial to sexy times. Nothing is more embarrassing than hurting your back or getting a charlie horse during sex. Strengthening your muscles with weight training and stretching is sure to prevent this, also helping to increase endurance and flexibility.
We navigate the world through feelings. Things we associate with bad feelings we avoid and those we connect with good feelings we seek. Well, one bad experience during sex, due to a deconditioned state, could put a person off sex for good. Is that any way to live? Not for me! Exercising promotes feelings of happiness and relaxation. Feeling happy, relaxed and in control provides more confidence in the bedroom. Exercise releases chemicals in your brain that make you more at ease, confident! When was the last time you felt down, agitated, self-conscious, and also interested in a little “brown-chicken-brown-cow”? Confidence is sexy!
Yes, we all should accept ourselves for who we are, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t want, desire, deserve a healthy fit body. I am all about self-acceptance; Radical Acceptance[i]saved my life! You should never hate yourself or degrade yourself over your appearance or lack of physical fitness. But you should never accept it as it is. Health plays a huge part in our well-being and appearance, although many choose to not believe this, is important. I respect people’s opinions who believe that even an obese individual can be beautiful and healthy. I too believe an obese person can be beautiful, but not necessarily healthy as you get older and over 50. I’m sorry. The two cannot go hand in hand. (Keep in mind, I’m talking about obesity here; being overweight is not the same and you can be very healthy despite weighing more than what the medical community and society thinks you should.) However, no matter where your fitness level is or what age you are, you CAN start a program and increase your fitness and improve your health.
Specifics for Women & Men 50 and Over
Women who exercise and maintain a healthy weight are more likely to find their hormones to be stable, a decrease in vaginal dryness and an increase in arousal sensitivity.
Men who exercise and maintain a healthy weight are less likely to have problems with erectile dysfunction, or ED and an increase in arousal.
Even moderate levels of exercise, like a brisk 30-minute walk 4-5 days a week can provide increased benefits.
When you consider the physics and actual act of sex, fit people have the advantage. People who maintain an exercise program will find sex easier, less painful, and definitely more enjoyable! If you are partial to the missionary position, for example, strong arms, a tight core, and flexibility will have you both screaming “Yes! Yes! Oh God Yes!”
Exercise will keep you feeling confident and energized both in and out of the bedroom. Exercise will aid in great sex which in turn will assist in confidence. This, ultimately, will bring you and your partner closer together. The attraction and excitement you once felt for each other is still there. It’s just hidden by layers of marshmallow fluff. But when you are taking care of yourself and getting fit, no matter what your weight is or if you have “lumps and bumps”, you will FEEL sexy. And that makes you sexy!
To ensure the best overall sexual health you must include a well-rounded exercise regimen of strength, cardio, HIIT, and flexibility and balance training into your precious life.
Now, let’s get fit!
[i] Radical Acceptance is a practice developed by Marsha Linehan. Used in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), this particular practice was created based on the notion that reality must be accepted, rather than fought against, and that fighting and railing against a situation is a greater cause of suffering than the situation itself. Radical acceptance, as its name suggests, means exactly that: accepting everything about yourself, your current situation, and your life without question, blame, or pushback. Far from condoning or embracing what you are and what you are going through, radical acceptance advocates simply accepting yourself and your circumstances in order to better move through and past them. *Be sure to talk to your doctor before you begin any new exercise program.