This is for all the men in advancing age. The average fella would never let their vehicle run without proper maintenance. The auto parts store is a testament to that fact. When its time to change the oil, it gets changed. When its time for a tune up, the vehicle gets a tune up. If it needs a wash, he’s headed straight to the car wash. Ever vigilant in the care of the automobile. So why are men lacking in the self-care department? Why do men neglect their health? Why do men avoid asking for help even when help is warranted? The reasons why may vary dependent upon certain circumstances, but the number 1 reason is Toxic Masculinity.
Let’s start by discovering Toxic Masculinity. [It] is defined as: noun A cultural concept of manliness that glorifies stoicism, strength, virility, solitude, and dominance, and that is socially maladaptive or harmful to mental and physical health: toxic masculinity perpetuates expectations that are restrictive and traumatizing.
The definition itself explains so much. This is why men do not seek help; whether it is for mental issues or to get back in shape. Men would rather suffer. According to Jill Berger, PhD, an expert in the studies the psychology of masculinity, “Traditionally, society demands that men emulate a Marlboro man ideal--tough, independent”[i] Many lives are lost too soon due to this mentality.
I have had many opportunities to speak to different men about my journey from being obese and unhealthy to being in the best shape of my life. They all seem impressed and astonished and often follow up with questions on how I may assist them, but 10 out of 10 times nothing comes of it. It’s not that they are not sincere. It is not that they truly think they don’t need help. It is the idea that asking for help or asking to be guided through a difficult situation is a sign of weakness. In fact, seeking and receiving help is one of the strongest things a man can do for himself and his loved ones!
I too was victim of a toxic masculine upbringing. My father was a stern man and believed boys needed to begin to act as men as early as possible. I was told numerous times that “little men don’t cry” and “don’t come crying unless your bleeding”. I never witnessed my father cry. Of course, I’m certain he did cry; he is human, he has feelings. But he would never show them. He never took a sick day. He went to work, endangering others I might add, whether it was a cold, the flu, or something worse. While I was growing up, he never visited a doctor once for a checkup. That bad habit led to diabetes and a heart attack. These and many other behaviors influenced my maturation.
As I approached adulthood, I was fortunate enough to be blessed with misanthropic mind. I started to question these behaviors and attitudes and realized-they are detrimental to my life, my existence. Slowly but surely, I was able to breakaway from that closed minded thinking and be free, think for myself. If I need help, I ask for it. I’m not afraid to grow and learn from others-even other men. Toxic masculinity is injurious to a man’s self-esteem, health, and physical conditioning. It is also insalubrious to romantic relationships. In the end toxic masculinity is a benefit to no one.
This article is aimed toward my fellow older gents. I want you to take stock of your life, yourself, your health. Are you doing well? Are you in the best shape of your life? Can you be a better version of yourself? Answer honestly. If changes need to be implanted, then make them, even if this means asking for guidance.
I love my associate men in the over 50 club. I want to see us all live long, happy, healthy, and fulfilled lives. We still have many, many adventurous, fruitful, momentous years ahead of us. Do we fritter away those years feeble, restricted, sickly, and monotonous? Or do we Live those years healthfully with virility, anticipation, love, drive, and machismo? The choice is ultimately ours. We, as men, must step up and man up and do what is best for ourselves and our loved ones.
I really would love to start this revolution and make our generations the healthiest! The first 5 men to contact us with code MANUP10…. will received 10% off the monthly nutrition and fitness program.